Tabula Rasa: A Story of Trauma and Healing

Thank you so much to author Ana Waters for my own copy of this beautiful book! I am so grateful for this opportunity and look forward to reading more of your books in the future.

Warning: This post contains heavier content than my previous posts, including, but not limited to, different forms of abuse.

I have never read a book like this before.

Tabula Rasa by Ana Waters shocked me and opened my eyes to issues within churches that I have not personally encountered. While incidents involving churches are constantly being broadcasted about on the news, I have been blessed to have wholesome churches in my life.

The story follows Rebecca Ivy, who spent over a decade at a church where all forms of evil and sin abounded. Rebecca is broken by the toxic environment of the place that that she had once thought of as safe. The trauma she experienced haunts her, and it seems inescapable.

The pastor of the church was using his position of power to manipulate and abuse the people under his so-called leadership. The psychological and physical abuse shown throughout the story broke my heart in an unexpected way.

This kind of manipulation and abuse is always appalling, but in the story this occurred in a place of worship, somewhere that is supposed to be kept sacred, pure, and holy.

Rebecca did not have any healthy relationships in her life. Her experiences were marred by memories and trauma of unhealthy relationship dynamics with family members, and of course, the church’s abuse.

However, as she attempts to begin her life over again, she catches the eye of a coworker. Despite her traumatic past, Rebecca tries to relearn how to trust and love again.

This book at times was especially hard for me to read. I cannot express the horror and shock I felt at different points, yet I am so so glad I finished it. Ana Waters masterfully wrote this book in a way that will speak to readers. However, be aware going into it that there is so much talk of abuse and trauma that it may be especially triggering to those who have personally experienced this. I want readers to be informed that this is the main focus of the book, and it does not lessen, shy away, or attempt to sugarcoat these topics at all.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of pornography; talks of sex, sex trafficking, and sexual assault (still closed-door); overdose; suicide; physical, emotional, sexual, and spiritual abuse; adultery; toxic relationships; anorexia